


All That's Left

by PhantoMichaelis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 18:34:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7856521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhantoMichaelis/pseuds/PhantoMichaelis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was bored and wanted to cry last night, so I wrote my first angst xD. I'd spoil the content if I were to put on a summary so I suggest you read on, instead. ^-^</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That's Left

Of all the trouble that this pathetic mundane feeling ever brought me, I was utterly sure I would regret it by the end of the day, but you know what?

_I didn't... rather, I couldn't..._

Why, you ask?

Remember when I came to your rescue, in all of my demonic nature? Raw evil and shrouded by darkness? A creature that ought to exist only in the realm of nightmares, something worthy to be feared, to be loathed..

You were but a mere child, then. To be frightened, to flee; that is what I expected you to do..

_But you didn't.._

Instead, you gripped my outstretched hand and entrusted your life to the vile creature that was I..

Do you recall how you weren't able to stomach the meals that I prepared that night? How bland the tea was next morning, and how it took me a while to even prepare you a decent meal?

Other noblemen would've lost patience, would doubt my own competence and shatter my dignity as a higher being. I really thought you would do the same..

_Only, you didn't.._

You took it as a challenge, learned your ways into being an earl, worthy of your bloodline, and grew alongside of me, honing me into the perfect butler tasked to deliver you glory.

That tragic night, the one where I almost lost my life from a reaper's scythe, remember how I was pathetically maimed and momentarily stunned? Leaving you all vulnerable in the open?

As they feasted their curious eyes unto my cinematic record, I was almost certain that you'd escape and save yourself, use my weakened state to your advantage and buy your way out..

_Surprisingly, you didn't.._

You stayed by my side, reciprocated the dread that shook my core when your warm palm slipped past my fingertips, offered your small hand and waited it to be clasped by mine..

Years passed and you grew to be the young man that your parents would've been beyond proud of, a strong-willed, determined, and intellectual young man. I grew more and more fond of you, your soul aged perfectly like the most delectable bottle of wine, but it is no longer the only essence of you that I craved..

That night when I no longer couldn't hold it anymore, remember how you gawked at me with your mismatched eyes when I blurted out those three words that a demon, such as myself, should not even know about? I closed my eyes and waited a slap across my cheeks, waited to be shunned by the object of my affection.

_And yet, you didn't.._

You granted me a kiss, that night. The sweetest one that ever touched my lips, up until now.

The very first night that you asked me to lay down with you, do you remember how I almost lost my control when things started to heat up between us?

You do not have the slightest idea of how thin my restraints were, back then, but I was sure you somehow noticed, given away by hunger in my eyes.

I honestly expected you to run away, to give up on me and perceive me as the monster that you ought to..

_Still, you didn't.._

You courageously grabbed my palm and brought it your small lips, silently assuring that I did no wrong.

I recall the day that Lady Elizabeth's parents finally approved of your impending marriage, how delighted she was and how she kissed you softly on the lips.

Heartache and jealousy surged up my core, back then. Especially as I couldn't bring myself to object, for this is the only thing that may give you that shot of happiness that you deserve.

I thought you would say yes, would leave me with the smiling mask that I wore and go build your own happy ending.

_You foolishly didn't!_

Instead, you ran towards me and wrapped me tightly inside your arms, as if afraid I might let you go.. I hope you knew how my chest jumped with joy when I finally heard you whisper those three words into my ear, how you sweetly announced that I'm the only one that you want.

Remember when we made love, that evening of your birthday? How we became one instead of two separate beings, driven by passion and desire?

You woke up the next morning with a searing pain from your behind, body covered with horrendous marks and bruises. I was afraid you would hate me for them..

_Thankfully, you didn't..._

Instead you smiled at them in front a mirror, traced each one with your finger tips and called them reminders of my love..

And then, that day came..

Maybe that day was my punishment, for taking advantage of your love, for letting you into the deepest parts of my heart knowing that I'd be putting your life on the line.

The sight of the demon sword cutting through the flesh of your chest will always be scarred in my memory, how you jumped in front of me and saved me out of harm's way.

You managed to smile despite the tears in your eyes, that cold evening, you felt so warm inside my arms despite the gush of blood that was rapidly flowing out of your small form. I shook you lightly and I felt my voice break from the numbing fear of losing you, and I almost lost it when you slowly close your eyes after saying how much I mean to you..

Only then that I knew what a broken heart feels like, it is beyond any agony I ever felt, through the span of my long yet hollowed years.. Because when your sweet, sweet name escaped my lips for the final time, when I begged you to stay with me and open your eyes..

_You didn't.._

And you took away the last piece of my shattered heart when your chest heaved its final breath. Leaving me with the searing pain of existing without you..

How could you be so cruel? So selfish? After all of what I had given you? All that I've sacrificed for you?

I ought to hate you for ruining me, for destroying my entire being only to rebuild it with your own hands.. You made me the most pathetic and despicably pitiful demon that I am today, the lowest of its kind.

I ought to loathe you, to despise this feeling and shove it back down to the deepest parts of hell..

_But I simply couldn't.._

_Because my love for you is all I am left with, right now.. The only reminder that you entered and ever had been part of my once miserable life.._


End file.
